5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
