he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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