she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize