we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
