so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
