just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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