Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
