was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
