the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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