My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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