If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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