you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
