that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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