I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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