The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
