Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
