Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
