is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
