Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize