I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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