Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize