He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
