Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
