anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
