If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
