Church boner. Awkwardddd
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
