How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
