Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
