You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
