My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
