I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
