Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
