yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
