I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can you bring me the toilet please
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
