Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
