i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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