Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize