Me too!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
