My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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