what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
