dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Someone shattered a urinal.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You were trust falling into bushes
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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