I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
