It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
