That's intense
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize