i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
