I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
