I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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