about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize