gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
