So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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