just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
