I would go down on you faster than GM stock
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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