I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
