I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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