The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
