i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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