A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
