You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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