Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
