Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
