With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
