We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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