So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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